Today my husband wrote his blog that can be found at: www.jondisburg.com. He wrote about the various versions of history. That reminded me of a great lesson I have learned in my work on a Doctor Of Ministry through Drew. Carl Savage has written a book called Narrative Research in Ministry that guides our work.
At the heart of my research project will be hearing stories. Asking evocative questions and remaining totally neutral to allow the individuals being interviewed to tell their stories. In listening to their stories one important thing I will need to remember is that each persons story is the truth. Their story may not be factual but it is their truth. Do you hear the difference?
I wonder if many of the conflicts in our world wouldn't be solved if everyone realized that each of us has our own truth which may not be the facts. Each person's story is valid and valuable. In the courtroom where responsibility for a crime is being determined - facts are important. The courtroom would not be an appropriate place to share my story about what happened. I would be asked to share the facts of what I know.
Think about people you have had conflicts with in the past. If each of you had stopped to acknowledge the validity of each others stories (versions of the truth) perhaps there would not have been a conflict or you might have been able to resolve your conflict quicker.
My story can be influenced by my past or family situation or any number of factors. As a child I may have been cheated in a way that had a lasting impact on my life. Therefore as an adult when I relay stories of being cheated, I may have stronger feelings about what happened and even exaggerate what I see as the truth.
Often there are conflicts in the church that could be easily resolved if we were to listen deeply to the narrative (story) each of us has to tell. Deep listening involves hearing behind the words, wondering what has happened in another person's life that causes them to see things the way they do, or even listening to what they are not sharing.
None of us are trained therapists but we can become better Christians by acknowledging the validity and value of the truth we each share. As we value the other person's experience as their truth we become less judgemental and realize there is not one version of the truth. Yes there is one set of facts but often we aren't dealing with facts.
At the heart of my research project will be hearing stories. Asking evocative questions and remaining totally neutral to allow the individuals being interviewed to tell their stories. In listening to their stories one important thing I will need to remember is that each persons story is the truth. Their story may not be factual but it is their truth. Do you hear the difference?
I wonder if many of the conflicts in our world wouldn't be solved if everyone realized that each of us has our own truth which may not be the facts. Each person's story is valid and valuable. In the courtroom where responsibility for a crime is being determined - facts are important. The courtroom would not be an appropriate place to share my story about what happened. I would be asked to share the facts of what I know.
Think about people you have had conflicts with in the past. If each of you had stopped to acknowledge the validity of each others stories (versions of the truth) perhaps there would not have been a conflict or you might have been able to resolve your conflict quicker.
My story can be influenced by my past or family situation or any number of factors. As a child I may have been cheated in a way that had a lasting impact on my life. Therefore as an adult when I relay stories of being cheated, I may have stronger feelings about what happened and even exaggerate what I see as the truth.
Often there are conflicts in the church that could be easily resolved if we were to listen deeply to the narrative (story) each of us has to tell. Deep listening involves hearing behind the words, wondering what has happened in another person's life that causes them to see things the way they do, or even listening to what they are not sharing.
None of us are trained therapists but we can become better Christians by acknowledging the validity and value of the truth we each share. As we value the other person's experience as their truth we become less judgemental and realize there is not one version of the truth. Yes there is one set of facts but often we aren't dealing with facts.
Listen deeply. Look beyond the surface. Love beyond measure.
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